Caring for ourselves with The Cups

Part II is here!

Last week, we asked the first seven cards of the Cups suit what they wanted to tell us about self-care. Today we let the 8 of Cups all the way to the King of Cups do the talking.

Part II of what self-care actually is, according to The Cups. 14 different perspectives to approach your current self-care with just a little more self-compassion. 💛

8 of Cups

Self-care is … whenever you notice yourself wanting to walk away from something, but having a hard time actually doing it, asking yourself: ‘‘What does this still bring me?’’

I promise you, it still brings you something, otherwise walking away wouldn’t be this hard.

Maybe it distracts you from something you’re struggling to make sense of, maybe it helps you to keep yourself small (which might feel safer than playing big) or maybe it just makes sure you don’t have to endure another change in your life.

Knowing what it still brings you, helps you to stop judging it - and, more importantly, to stop judging yourself.

The (Queen of) Cups from The Light Seer’s Tarot

9 of Cups

Self-care is … considering what the need behind the need might be.

Whenever you notice an internal desire that’s dependent on someone else’s actions - like, you needing your friend to listen more carefully to your incoherent story or you needing your partner to not-order another beer - there’s always a need behind that need, like: a hug from your friend, or just going home on your own to hug your mattress. 🙃

You can ask yourself: If I knew for sure that there was a need behind this need, what would it be?

And, to top it off, you can look for ways to meet that need yourself (you’ll build a shit-ton of self-trust this way, as I wrote about in this post).

10 of Cups

Self-care is … not living every day like it’s your last day on earth, but allowing for the here and now to just not be that great.

You know one thing for sure: everything always changes. Deciding to not try to change the present moment, helps you to stay connected - to yourself and to what is.

It’s like you’re letting the rain of this moment just land on your face (instead of doing anything and everything in your power to avoid as many raindrops as possible). You look up, instead of down, and there you find a rainbow – the reflection of the rainbow of your true colors.

By being present with what is, by surrendering to the colors of this moment, you return to the only permanent thing in your life: you.

Page of Cups

Self-care is … owning your sensitivity and letting your heart be transparent. You can achieve this radical openness by (regularly) placing a hand on your heart and saying yes to everything flowing in and out of your heart space (check out this meditation from Tara Brach if you’d like some guidance).

Dance with your anger.
Hug your jealousy.
Drink tea with your despondency.
Sing from your sadness.
Look at the sky with your grief.
Listen to the whispers of your frustration.

As Jaiya John wrote:

‘‘Your feelings don’t arrive to harm you. They arrive to lead you back to you. Follow them. They know the way home.’’

Knight of Cups

Self-care is … unlabeling your emotions. Whenever judgements arrive, remind yourself that the feelings are already here, whether you like it or not, but judging them will never make things better or easier.

Rejecting (a part of) your experience, leads to rejecting yourself. So you’ll start to feel bad about yourself AND the experience will linger around for much longer.

Try to be like a cup. Be that supportive surrounding for your inner waters, not trying to influence them in any way, just serving as a sturdy vessel to carry them and hold them lovingly.

Queen of Cups

Self-care is … regularly asking yourself: Which option/action would make it easier for me to trust/love myself?

There is an important nuance in this question. It is not meant to invite you into choosing whatever makes you love or trust yourself (more), but what makes it easier for you to grow your self-trust and/or self-love. That’s all.

And that’s also how you actually get there. By moving the spotlight of your attention away from the end goal, and letting the small steps you take each day serve as waves you can catch, surfing back to your essence, where self-love and self-trust reside. 🏄🏻

King of Cups

Self-care is … considering: What would Love do?

Or, if this doesn’t resonate, asking yourself any of these questions:

• How can I honor my scars in this moment?

• Does it nourish me?

• What would this look like if there was a softer/easier way?