The Cups: What self-care actually is

At the end of last year, we looked at what The Swords might be wanting to tell us about overthinking. Soon after, it became clear to me that The Cups also had something to say.

So, here it is, dear reader. What self-care actually is, according to The Cups. 14 different perspectives to approach your current self-care with just a little more self-compassion. 💛

Ace of Cups

Self-care is ... everything you do. You always have your own best interest at heart – even if it doesn’t seem like it.

And if what you're doing (or not doing, or trying to do) to take care of yourself, is not what you want it to be or think it should be, know that these are just the ways in which you currently know how to make yourself feel a little better / less bad.

Even the most destructive behaviors are fueled by an unmet need for which you, in the moment, cannot find a better solution. That doesn't make it bad. And it definitely doesn't make you bad. Just a human being. Caring for yourself in the best way you know how.

In this weekly letter from Love Elizabeth Gilbert explains it so much better than I ever could. Definitely check it out if the above resonated even a little!
The whole post is beautiful (as always), but if you want to scroll straight to the part I’m referring to, it starts with ‘‘Sweetie, this is what I want to tell you’’ (below the video).

2 of Cups

Self-care is … trying not to see yourself as a collection of black and white pebbles – the black ones being traits and versions of you that you have (unwittingly) labeled as unacceptable. Self-care is opening yourself up to the idea that every single part of you has their own true color and they’re just waiting for you to uncover them. Each part of you just wants to be seen and belong.

Maybe, today, it’s enough to boil some water and go drink a cup of tea with your (seemingly) unlovable parts?

The (Ace of) Cups from The Light Seer’s Tarot

3 of Cups

Self-care is … catching yourself – as Brené Brown wrote – ‘scouring people’s faces for evidence that you don’t belong’, not making yourself wrong for it, and deliberately choosing another lens to look through at the world - a lens that helps you look for confirmation of the fact that you are good enough and you do belong.

You can increase your sense of belonging just by switching up your lens. It’s like the quote from Henry Ford:

‘‘Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.’’

4 of Cups

Self-care is … checking in with yourself to see if you might need to emotionally digest something first - before turning to other self-care practices.

What needs to be felt and how can you make it feel as welcome as possible?

Maybe you visualize the situation/topic that is in need of some processing and you just take this image with you throughout your day. Sometimes that’s all the space and acknowledgement a feeling needs from you.

5 of Cups

Self-care is … grieving the versions of your life you’ll never live (even if they are not at all desirable). This will make room so that you can (more clearly) see those two cups that are still standing. It also helps you to stop (unwittingly) pushing yourself towards a life of which you deep down know it is not meant for you.

For a moment, be in the space between what could have been and what is – you’ll be more present with what is after this bit of acknowledgment and care.

6 of Cups

Self-care is … developing trust in joy. Allowing yourself to fully experience the good stuff. It’s the ultimate permission slip to actively seek out what is joyful/pleasurable/easy/fun, while also not looking away from the feelings of unsafeness this often evokes.

You might say to yourself:

‘‘I’m worthy of the very best in life and I lovingly allow myself to accept all of it.

It’s safe to feel good and it’s safe to be with the unsafeness or other yuckiness that comes with letting the good stuff in.’’

You can also try to visualize your heart as a flower opening whenever there is joyfulness, coziness, pleasure or fun to experience, to signal to yourself you’re ready, willing and able to truly let it in.

7 of Cups

Self-care is … staying as fluid as possible whenever you feel like you’re in between identities, stories, anything you can label or explain. Your only job during these challenging times is to BE, to stay wordless and formless in the best way you know how.

This is an opportunity to experience your inner limitless.

To be continued …

Next week we’ll look at what the rest of The Cups have to say about caring for ourselves. Hope to see you then! 🤗