The Wands on reconnecting with your (favorite) self

Losing yourself, it sounds so big and daunting, but it actually happens all the time - it’s part of being human. Losing yourself and finding your way back again. Each time getting one step closer to be(com)ing your favorite self.

So, here’s what the Wands have to say about reconnecting with yourself at any moment. 14 simple but powerful reminders leading you back to (a life that feels true to) you.

Ace of Wands

Usually the best, easiest and most intimate way of reconnecting with yourself, is simply checking in with what your internal battery is telling you. How many spoons (units of mental and physical energy) do you have left and how do you want to spend them?

Two of Wands

The ache of the disconnection is proof that your favorite self is still there and you’re actually getting closer to them. Just like how your bladder almost seems to burst when you’re this close to a toilet - your body knows these things.

Oftentimes, they’re just temporarily buried under blankets of judgement, rejection, should’s and shitty experiences. And the lifting of those blankets is always just a moment away.

(Ace of) Inspiration (Wands) from The Muse Tarot

Three of Wands

Keep showing up for yourself by following and honoring your (small!) yeses. Try to pursue anything that feels like a ‘‘yes’’ in your body and keep it simple. No big life decisions, just what you want to eat right now or what you want to do tonight or which book you want to read next.

Your tiny yeses will always lead you back to you.

Four of Wands

Some emotions make us feel unsafe, because at some point in our lives they got us rejected, neglected or abandoned in one way or another. So, when such a feeling arises, we freeze our inner waters and disconnect from ourselves.

What could help to come back, is finding ways to thaw your inner waters, to free up some repressed emotional energy. What gives you the same kind of release as laughing or crying often does?

Five of Wands

Try to go into this question with an open mind and just see what comes up.

Which part of you needs your attention the most right now?
Is there something you can do to soothe, comfort or empower this part of you?

Six of Wands

You do not have to be perfect to be safe and loved. You do not have to be perfect to be safe and loved. You do not have to be perfect to be safe and loved.

Seven of Wands

Comparison might be one of the most common causes of inner disconnection. Because you will never be what someone else is. You're not able or supposed to.

Where do you feel like you’re chasing a persona, trying to live up to something that doesn’t come naturally to you (right now)? And what would it look like if you decided to turn it around and let this projection or expectation chase you instead?

Eight of Wands

Sometimes it's like you're sitting in a waiting room and looking around, hoping something will happen, something will change, to help you regain access to that place inside yourself.

But you can also just decide to walk out of that waiting room, accept the disconnection, and move forward anyway. Often, this embodied decision is the one thing needed to let the reconnection unfold.

(Seven of) Inspiration (Wands) from The Muse Tarot

Nine of Wands

Now and again, we lose ourselves in (the energy/opinion/feelings of) another person. Luckily, we can always come back. What might help, is to stop fighting the energy of the other person hanging out in your ‘‘aura’’.

It’s usually our attempts to prevent it or make it stop that cause the inner disconnection. Because we’re not here, we’re over there, fighting off the other’s projections or mood. If we just let it happen, it will often flow away naturally.

Ten of Wands

“Our time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.”
– Steve Jobs

Be on the lookout for ‘‘rules’’ you live by that aren't actually yours. They are not for you, they do not come from you, and they don't benefit your favorite self. We all have certain beliefs about how things are supposed to be or what we should do, feel or even like.

Realizing you’re living according to some statement or idea that isn't actually yours, creates the space for beliefs that DO align with your favorite self to reveal themselves.

Page of Wands

What if the thing about you that feels like it’s too much is actually your strength?

Don’t worry, this thought exercise is not meant to change your mind about it, it just might make it a bit easier to accept and own this part of you.

1. What about you feels like it’s ‘‘too much’’? This is your strength.
   My sensitivity.

2. What do you need because of this? This is your medicine.
   A lot of alone time.

3. What does this medicine provide or enable you to do? This is your gift.
   The space to connect with my inner wisdom and do tarot readings or write posts like these.

Knight of Wands

Here’s another way to approach the parts of yourself you tend to judge, reject or hide. It’s called: it already is.

For years I was so afraid of the impact my sensitivity would have on my relationships, I was actively denying it. Trying to make this inherent part of me unexist, created some kind of invisible full body armor that made it harder to connect with me, which actually DID have a negative impact on my relationships.

By accepting that something already is, you enable yourself to redirect the spotlight of your attention to all the things you CAN control (like tending to your needs).

This empowerment makes you suffer less and helps you to reconnect with yourself.

Queen of Wands

Check in with HOW you’re doing things. Brushing your teeth can be a spiritual practice, and meditating can be the most stressful chore there is.

Sparking self-connection is all about being present, and consciously choosing the energy you approach something with (because that’s what you’ll get out of it).

For example: I was stuffing so much ‘‘self-care’’ practices into my mornings that they started to feel like the opposite of spacious. Now, I approach my morning routine with all the ease I can muster and I’ve never felt so calm and present at the beginning of my days.

King of Wands

You are your only constant, your actual forever. Treat yourself like it.

As Glennon Doyle wrote:

“Every time you're given a choice between disappointing someone else and disappointing yourself, your duty is to disappoint that someone else. Your job throughout your entire life, is to disappoint as many people as it takes to avoid disappointing yourself.”

You always have a choice. Show yourself you can lean on you.

That’s all.